One Year Ago-A Homecoming Story

One year ago we finally got to bring our babies home, well Landon came home on the 5th, but Ava followed on the 8th, so I'm writing this today.  It had been 28 days of leaving my babies at the hospital, 28 days of my hubby and I going home to an empty house after months of anticipation of having the twins, 28 days of two empty cribs in the nursery just waiting for a little baby to sleep in them.

Those days were some of the longest days of my life and now they seem like they only amounted to a half second compared to the last year.  I have a hard time remembering every day in the NICU, I think I was in the fog of new mommyhood, traumatized from our birth story which you can read here.  Every morning from May 14th-June 8th, we woke up and went to the hospital.  We would stay there from 9am-7/8pm, I wanted to stay 24/7 but the amazing nurses kept reminding me I had to heal too, I had major surgery as well as pushed a baby out, not to mention my body had been on rest mode for 8 long weeks while on bedrest.

The NICU is a rollercoaster in which all you want to do is get off at the next stop.  Luckily at the time I didn't know the extent of a lot of information until I got their medical records for our insurance.  Like the fact that Ava was intubated (I never knew), only for an hour or so because her AGPAR scores were so low at birth. When I found that out I got upset, I felt like she must have bee sicker then I knew, but thankfully she is perfectly healthy today.

The one thing that kept me sane was the nurses, I knew my babies were in good GREAT hands of the nurses and doctors at the hospital.

Here are just a few pictures of our time in the NICU and the babies homecoming.

The 12 things I learned about MoMmyhood in the first 12 months!

1.  You will still buy too much crap, even if you think you need a lot of crap, especially with twins, I thought I needed double of EVERYTHING...turns out, I didn't. I should have returned all recieving blankets, bottle warmers, and half of the clothing....

2.  Two babies is hard work.  Especially when those two babies both had to be woken up at 4 am after coming home from the NICU to be fed, burped and changed...all by myself since my hubby and I split shifts. 

3.  Boppy pillows are necessary, they serve many different fuctions, first as a feeding support, then a resting spot for the non-mobile baby, then a back prop for the almost sitting baby, now sadly we don't need our boppy pillows any longer.

4.  The first few months are easier then right now, at the time I never thought I would see the light at the end of the tunnel with newborn twins.  It turns out I now miss the days that they would lay there under their playmat and stare and the flashing light and animal mobile.  Now one goes       <------this way and the other------> that way.  I am now always chasing someone.

5.  Plan at least an extra hour when running errands, little old ladies love to stop and ask you a GAZILLION questions about your babies...for example my favorite
 old lady: "Are those twins"
 me: "yes they are"
 old lady: "o boys or girls"
 me: "a boy and a girl"
 old lady: "identical?"
 me: "um...no"
old lady: "wow, you must have your hands full" (like I have never ever heard that before)
 me: "yes but its lots of fun"
old lady: "well they are just adorable"
 me: "thank you"...walk away
 ***rinse and repeat about 5 times per store...***

6.  Its true once you have babies that your friends change, you now identify with the "moms", even if those moms are 10+ years older then you, you have the biggest thing in life in common, you both have children.  The friends you once had who don't have children yet may still come around to play with the babies, but don't understand your priorities any longer.

7.  My once clean and spotless HOUSE has now become a toy infested, cluttered HOME, while some days it still irks me to my core that the bathroom or bedroom literally look like bombs went off and I contemplate the fact that buying new clothes might be easier then washing the ones on the ground.  I have to remind myself that no amount of cleaning is worth missing out on precious baby time!

8.  Time really does speed up.  I've always heard people say that after you have kids time just flies.  Its true it does, our first 4 1/2 years of marriage felt quick but we were in a very comfortable routine, once the twins were born its like someone hit fastforward...everyday is different, there is a kinda/sorta routine regarding the twins schedule but everything else has just been set aside.

9.  Can someone remind me why I thought I needed every baby book there was, every book on multiples or the first year.  I have opened these books, but motherhood is natural and not one book out there is going to identify with your exact situation...EVER. 

10.  I'm now a sappy sappy person, I used to be the "I don't cry at the dying anything in a movie" gal.  Now I see anything remotely emotional and I tear up...the worst being the Grey's Anatomy episode where Callie gave birth... I just started crying as I saw what was happening, NICU terms, APGAR scores...etc. 

11.  Being away from your babies suck!! I know I HAVE to work, its just not an option for us at the moment for me to be a stay at home mama.  I used to never ever ever think I would want to be a stay at home mom but now its all I can think about on Monday, Tuesday and Thursday from 8-5!

12.  And last but not least...I never knew that a love like a mother's love for her child actually existed, sure I had been told, but I did not truly understand the meaning until I was wheeled into the NICU and held their teeny tiny little hands, if I could I would never let that little hand go.

Well those are the 12 of many many things I have learned this first year. 

PS...It took me 2 weeks to write this, hence the mobile twins thing in # 4....

Where Does the Time go...Can someone help me find it...

Of course it being the week of the twins 1st birthday I find myself looking at pictures of the last 12 months, and the few crazy days leading up to their early arrival. 

I found this picture, May 10th or 11th, 2010! Can you tell I was so DONE being pregnant, I had been having constant contractions for 8 weeks, been in bed, and been pumped full of mag and steroids so the twins would have a better shot at health outside of the womb.

I cannot even remember being this big now, how crazy. I look so tired and sore, I have this pic as a bare belly too but I'll spare you because it actually makes my stomach hurt looking at it, I can't believe I got that HUGE and still didn't get a stretchmark...(yeah you can hate me now, sorry).  The lovely iv line that had to be changed 4 times, the exhaustion of a soon to be twin mama, its alot crazy to look back on now and remember that its all part of my story. 


I have a post in the works for what I have learned in my 12 months of MoMmyhood! Also a few posts on our NICU stay because I don't want to forget it all and soon I'm afraid it will find its way into the distant past that I can't recall.  Along with of course a birthday post and pictures, O which makes me think I may need to go buy a new memory card just so I can take a ton of pictures.

Picture Post

Ava coming home from the NICU on June 10th, 2010

Ava September 10th, 2010, 3 months later!!