Where Does the Time go...Can someone help me find it...

Of course it being the week of the twins 1st birthday I find myself looking at pictures of the last 12 months, and the few crazy days leading up to their early arrival. 

I found this picture, May 10th or 11th, 2010! Can you tell I was so DONE being pregnant, I had been having constant contractions for 8 weeks, been in bed, and been pumped full of mag and steroids so the twins would have a better shot at health outside of the womb.

I cannot even remember being this big now, how crazy. I look so tired and sore, I have this pic as a bare belly too but I'll spare you because it actually makes my stomach hurt looking at it, I can't believe I got that HUGE and still didn't get a stretchmark...(yeah you can hate me now, sorry).  The lovely iv line that had to be changed 4 times, the exhaustion of a soon to be twin mama, its alot crazy to look back on now and remember that its all part of my story. 


I have a post in the works for what I have learned in my 12 months of MoMmyhood! Also a few posts on our NICU stay because I don't want to forget it all and soon I'm afraid it will find its way into the distant past that I can't recall.  Along with of course a birthday post and pictures, O which makes me think I may need to go buy a new memory card just so I can take a ton of pictures.

Finally a Birth Story

Wednesday May 12th, 2010

I was not feeling very well this day, my contractions had increased, they were starting to become more painful and last longer. I had just been sleeping on and off. At 1 in the afternoon I was surprised by a few girls from my office who must have literally flown up from Olympia via I-5 to visit me on their lunch hour! I was so excited to see them, I had been on bedrest so long I had not gotten to see most of my work buddies, so I visited with Christie, Emily and Debbie for a little bit before they had to get back to work. Later on Emily would tell me I looked like I was in pain (I thought I faked no pain pretty well but o well). After they left I decided to call the nurse because the contractions were just not getting any better and I was done with pain by that point again. The nurse came in and offered me some pain medication while we waited for the Doctor to come in and see if the reason for the contractions was that I was progressing. Dr. Mckinney came in and checked me, I was back to 3 cm, she made the call that we were having babies this time, I was thrilled, mainly because by this point I was mentally and emotionally as well as physically done. She discussed again her view for a natural birth and that they could guide Ava down the right way since she was laying transverse (head to my left and feet on my right side). I said I would think about it since they did not need a decision yet.

I called Grant and my family and told them what we had been decided. The nurses got me ready to move back to Labor and Delivery again. We had to load up or hospital (hotel room), and move everything to my new Labor and Delivery room. I'm pretty sure the more times you get moved the better your room gets. My room this time was HUGE! It was a corner room and was so nice and spacious compared to the other L&D rooms I had been in. I sat in the bed and waited while a plan of attack was formed by the doctors.

The "plan" went like this...

Watch my labor and see if I continued to progress on my own

If not, I was to be given potocin to move things along

Then go from there.

I was offered pain medication and to get into the birth tub, which I would highly recommend! That was the only time my contractions were eased. I washed my hair, shaved my legs (people were going to see them and I had not bothered to shave my legs in quite awhile). I felt nice and dare I say refreshed. I was only allowed to do this for a little while since I had tested group B strep + so they would have to have an IV of antibiotics in at least 4 hours before I was to give birth.

I got out of the tub and got back into bed to apply make-up, vein (yes) necessary (no) but do you know how many pictures people take of that day and after laying in a hospital for 8 days I did not look super great or perky with dark circles under my eyes from the exhaustion of it all. Our friends and family all came up to visit. The nurses would periodically come in to get everything ready to go. They got my antibiotics started and more fluid, I weighed myself on the Sunday before the twins were born and I saw 166 on a scale!!!!!! All of which was fluid and baby but WOW! Now we sat around and waited for the potocin to take effect.

And waited.....and waited....and waited...

Got the epidural, which I was a pro at, being it was my 2 attempt at labor for the week, the first had been on Mothers Day were I also received an epidural and then stalled in labor.

And waited....tried to rest...and waited...

They kept upping my potocin, I was having consistent contractions but was not dilated past a 4 on my own, I really lost track of time during all of this, I tried to rest but the excitement of finally being able to see my babies was keeping me awake.

Thursday May 13th...

Sometime in the early morning hours they decided to put an internal monitor for contractions in to see if my contractions were really strong enough to keep me dilating or if we would just need to go to a c-section. I think this was around 7 am.

I went back to sleep around 8ish, my nurse stayed with me until maybe 8:45 when she went to go get some breakfast, Grant had gone down the the cafeteria and my mom and aunt had gone out to get some food as well. Next thing I remember was waking up in terrible pain. Grant had returned and I tried to tough it out for a few minutes but it was obvious that something was going on. My nurse had decided it was taking too long for her breakfast and she must have had a sixth sense because she returned right as we called for a nurse. She took a "look" and immediately called for the doctor, because between about 9:00 and 9:15 I had fully dilated and was ready to go, Landon's head was already peeking out, so they immediately had Grant change into his daddy scrubs and I was wheeled off to the OR(when you are pregnant with multiples you always give birth in an OR just in case). Grant got changed and followed with his cell phone calling everyone that it was GO TIME! Camera in hand we were ready to meet these babies!!

Everything was so crazy fast from there, I got to the OR, there were so many doctors and nurses, we had 2 NICU teams, several other nurses, anaesthesiologists, 3 doctors. They got me onto the surgical table and ready to push, we waited for my next contraction to push, I pushed maybe 6 times and we saw Ladon make his BIG appearance into the world.

They whisked him to his warming bed, and gave him extra oxygen, we were so in love! I turned back to the doctors only to hear them say that Ava had instead of going the way we wanted her to and turn head down she had gone breech, they attempted to turn her, which did not work, then her heart rate dropped, all I could hear was a nurse counting her heartbeat, it was under 100. They told me I would be having a crash c-section because she was in distress. The anesthesiologist gave me a block to numb my whole lower body for the c-section but when the doctor did her "poke" test, I could feel sharp pain, I was starting to freak out and was looking to Grant who was near my head, I could see worry on every doctor and nurse in there, I turned to the anesthesiologist and told him to "knock me out and get her OUT!" so he did, I remember the mask being put over my face and I was out. This is sad to me because Grant was not able to see his daughter born since they had to put me under they had to kick him out. We also have no birth pictures of Ava, which may be a good thing since she was not very responsive and required help immediately after birth, her cord had gone around her neck.

I woke up in recovery a couple of hours later just asking if they were ok, I was in pain, I had just had happen what I had told every single doctor there that I did not want to happen, I had given birth to Landon naturally and then still had to have a c-section. I got the full experience. They had me hooked up to pain medication that I could push the button to get more, whatever they gave me in the beginning did not work so they switched me to morphine which worked better. All I wanted to do was see my babies and see for myself that they were ok. Once I was ready to leave recovery, they wheeled me to the NICU to meet my babies. They were so tiny and had so many different things hooked up to them, monitors, IV's, cpap masks, and lots of prick marks from where they had been poked and prodded. I could not believe that they were mine and I had carried them for all that time. My mom, dad and Grant's mom had all been able to come in and meet them as well. After about 10-15 minutes they moved me up to the postpartum floor.

This was my story, it was alot of unplanned things, many things that were totally out of control, many things happened that I wish had not, but bottom line was my babies were here, safe and healthy for 32 week old twins. That is really all that matters to me. I never went into it with a plan (thank goodness) because I knew most likely none of it would happen, I played it by year which I guess kept things kind of exciting for us, completely unpredictable. It took a lot of healing time and a month long NICU stay but here, 6 and 1/2 weeks later I feel better, my babies are home with us and thriving and now I really have a story to tell.

Do I have a story to tell now Part: 1

I planned on updating on May 5th after my doctors appointment but boy did that change fast. I got to my doctors appoint right on time as usual, got checked in, I had been having more and more contractions the day before and on the 5th so I decided that would be the first thing I would ask about. I had been on two different medications since March to help stop pre term labor so when I notice that there is a change it is kind of a big deal. I was called back to my appointment, did the usual, pee in a cup, step on the scale (149 lb) holy COW, took my blood pressure, which, was normal as usual. My doctor came in and I told her about the contractions, she basically did nothing else because she decided she needed to send me over to St. Peters Hospital to be checked out and sit on the monitors for awhile. Grant and I headed over to St. Peters to do this, went right to the Family Birth Center and got into our exam room, which we had become quite familiar with the process by now. They got me hooked up and I was having contractions every 2-3 minutes, the nurse decided she would do a fetal fibronectomy test which would give an idea if I was in immediate danger of delivering very soon, that was negative. She also checked to see if I had dialated anymore. I had been at 1 cm for quite some time (2 weeks or so), but I had moved to 2 and definitely was open, Landons head was very low so they got really worried really fast. The rest was such a blur to me. I was rushed to a different room and given magnesium sulfate to stop my contractions, this is a medication you never ever ever ever want! It made me hot and uncomfortable, I'm not talking sit on a beach hot in Hawaii I'm talking stuck in Death Valley in a black box with no holes hot. They leaned me so far back that my feet were higher then my head, I guess they try to use gravity as their friend. Soon things started to get more and more painful and no better, another OBGYN from the practice checked me and felt I was at 3 and immediately made the decision for me to be transported to Tacoma General or UW medical center where they could handle premature babies.
The Decision was made to transfer to Tacoma General and we sat and waited for the Ambulance. Somewhere in there I guess Grant called my parents and they rushed over to be with us. I don't really remember. 30 minutes later the Ambulance arrive to take me to Tacoma General with the rule that they were to have lights and sirens on the entire way. My anxiety was pretty much completely out of control by that point and I lost it. I have never been in an ambulance and there was too much going on too fast I could not keep up. I signed papers which I found about 3 days later and had no recolection of signing, got moved over to the gurney and was off. Grant was with me which was good because otherwise he would have had to try and fight the I-5 traffic roadwork. The ambulance was mostly I guess on the shoulder to pass traffic with lights and sirens on, I was completely terrified.
We got to Tacoma General and the paramedics had to find their way to the Labor and Delivery since Tacoma General had just completed a major renovation. We finally found it and I was rushed to a room, and hooked up to several IV's, I was still on Magnesium Sulfate and they put me on morphine for my pain which apparently made me very loopy or so Im told. The nurses were all trying to calm me down, which wasn't working but the pain meds eventually did it for them. I was so exhausted from all the craziness. They brought in a ultrasound tech who determined possible sizes and positions of both babies. I was pretty much asleep by this point and did not remember a thing. The ultrasound is the last thing I remember of that day. Right now I must go to a diaper change on my son, so stay tuned for part 2.